15 Life Lessons

1. It is, in fact, possible to blow out a tire on a pothole.

2. It will be raining, on a Sunday, with hoards of late-season, tiny, vicious mosquitoes sucking you dry.

3. A definite perk of being married to Terry is that he will cheerfully bring his truck, hydraulic jack, and wrenches, and be prepared to crawl around in the mud to put on the spare tire.

4. My car does not have a spare tire. It has a tiny air compressor that plugs into the outlet formerly known as the cigarette lighter and a tire sealant canister.

5. The tire sealant canister and air compressor are not helpful when there is a giant gash in the tire on the interior side where it will not be discovered until the tire does not hold pressure.

6. A bigger perk of being married to Terry is that he will also cheerfully negotiate multiple transactions with car care professionals to secure a new tire on Sunday afternoon. Talking to mechanics always makes me feel like a girl and not in a good way.

7. Never leave the hazard lights flashing.

8. When the battery is dead because, for example, you don’t know rule #7, the keyless entry function is useless. Neither the doors nor the hood will open. At this point, it will not seem like it was a good idea at all to lock the lug nuts, wrench, and vehicle manual inside the car.

9 No tow trucks are available in Harvard, IL on Sunday afternoon. It takes 30 minutes to get a truck from Woodstock.

10.There is a key hidden inside the car fob! There is a lock that fits the key underneath the immobile part of the door handle, which must be pried off. This valuable knowledge cost $105.

Car fob with hidden key removed

 11. After unlocking the car with the key, a “theft attempted” warning will appear the next two times the car is started.

12. My car has two batteries: a 12-volt battery to start the car and run the hazard flashers and one to drive the wheels. The 12-volt battery can be jumped.

13. After jumping the car, the “check engine” light will remain on until an appointment is made with the dealer. Also, the car will send an email urging maintenance within 7 days.

14. The “empty” tire sealant canister will leak. This does not appear to be harmful to all-weather floor mats.

15. There will be no charge at the dealer, but it will be another two hours of your life that you cannot have back. (The replacement tire sealant canister is $30, but it has to be ordered.)